


All I want (is to be with you)

by SoapyPasta



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment
Genre: Comfort, Confident!Ryan, Drinking, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Making Out, Nervous!Shane, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, in the broom closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21850150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoapyPasta/pseuds/SoapyPasta
Summary: [EDITED: 05/07/20]"Just, start by telling me how you feel about this- this whole thing, I guess.""You- you want me to start with that?" Shane laughs, it comes out more like a huff of breath, "that's the kind of thing I was planning on leading up to after a couple of hours of silent panicking, man."Or, the one where the boys make out drunk at work and Shane is kind of freaking out about it.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 23
Kudos: 229





	All I want (is to be with you)

Shane isn't quite sure how he ended up stuffed in a broom closet with his best friends mouth lodged comfortably against his neck, but he's not sure he cares. How could he when Ryan Bergara's motherfucking mouth is on his goddamn neck? _Holy shit._

He might be panicking. (Just a little, barely really, he's sure Ryan hasn't noticed.) This might be a lot for him to handle, a hell of a lot. He might be really fucking into it, again, it's Ryan Steven Bergara he's smoochin'! Who wouldn't be into that? Aside from anyone who isn't sexually attracted to neurotic 5'9" men that insist they are 5'10".

He knows that they were getting drunk for some random video they'd been roped into, he remembers that much. He remembers because he'd only agreed to it since they didn't really do random BuzzFeed videos anymore and, honestly, he missed how freeing it was to do whatever the hell he wanted on camera.

There's a strict _'no ghost hunting while intoxicated'_ policy that Katie has implemented after Ryan insisted Shane must be drunk or high to roll around on a pentagram. Shane's not a fan of that one, he thinks he might've actually had fun at the Yuma Territorial Prison if they'd all got a little tipsy beforehand. It would've made Ryan getting attacked by bats funnier at the very least.

Well, maybe that's unfair, he's still not allowed to do whatever he wants, for example, he certainly wouldn't be making out with Ryan right now if there was a camera in this closet. This is exactly why they talked about starting their own company, for creative freedom and all that, not to kiss his best friend.

He also knows that he's now undoubtedly drunk past the usual limit he sets out for himself. What he doesn't know is how no one noticed them wander in here or why no one has wondered where they've gone. He's not even sure they'd finished recording. Oh well. That's a problem for one future, extremely hungover Shane to deal with.

Honestly, It's not quite how he imagined his bisexual awakening going - well, he hadn't imagined it at all, that's kinda how these things usually go - but he couldn't will himself to complain as his shirt was hitched up and Ryan's hands began to roam against bare skin. He does briefly wonder if this is new for Ryan too, if it's unexpected or if he'd planned this as meticulously as he does everything else.

His hands slide under Ryan's jaw to tug his face up so he can kiss him again, their mouths slotting together, his tongue sliding into Ryan's mouth with abandon, slipping against Ryan's as the shorter man's hands edge ever higher under his shirt. Yeah, no he's _definitely_ not complaining.

Ryan's hot, and not just in the visual sense of the word, his entire body is on fire. In fear of sounding like a cliche, Shane is pretty sure Ryan's very touch burns permanent marks into the skin beneath it. In fear of sounding like a creep, he'd never looked at Ryan's lips and thought, _"wow they seem pretty darn soft, I'd love to smooch 'em!"_ but well, they are pretty darn soft and it's all he can think about. He thinks that's normal though right? To think about thinking about smooching someone when you are, in fact, smoochin' 'em.

He pulls back panting, trying to ignore the way Ryan's lips glow with the shine of his own saliva as he whimpers out a short, " _Ryan._ "

He knows this is just as much his fault as Ryan's, he knows he stepped in here first, but he can't help the way his nerves take over.

He hates being nervous, that's Ryan's job, and speaking of, how is _he_ so calm in this situation? That just doesn't seem fair at all. He's pretty sure Ryan's confidence suggests he's done this with a guy before, or maybe he's just drunk that much he's incapable of being nervous. Either way, Shane's got enough anxiety for the both of them, and he hates admitting that. He probably never will, verbally.

He gets a hum in response as the smaller man's mouth finds his neck again, biting, sucking, licking, pulling noises out of Shane that he wasn't aware he could make, ruining his train of thought. And _oh God_ , that's a particularly embarrassing sound.

Who knew Ryan would be the one to pull noises out of him like that? (Apart from a good majority of the fanbase, if the few pieces of fanfiction he's seen are anything to go by.)

"Ryan, wait." He wants to sound firm, he really does, but it comes out as something weak, his mouth betraying him further at the way he whines when Ryan pulls back to look at him, raising an eyebrow in a silent, _what's wrong?_

"If we- everyone will know- were at _work_ , Ry." He can hear the way his own words slur, mainly due to the many shots that had led him to this point. He tries not to wince at how desperate he sounds as the nickname escapes him.

He really needs to pull himself together, he feels vulnerable, new and Ryan has no damn clue. He doesn't want to seem like a blushing virgin, he's made out in plenty of closets. Just never with a guy, and Ryan isn't just some guy he's never going to see again. This is Ryan, his best friend, his co-host, his very, very attractive desk buddy (but that specific detail is beside the point.)

"No one saw us come in here." He murmurs in response, sounding equally out of it, a weak form of reassurance, not nearly good enough and he knows it. They both do.

"Ryan-" Is all he can manage again as warm hands continue their exploration over the planes of his chest and with a moment of silence Ryan pulls back.

"I know, I know," he mutters, and he somehow manages to make it sound concerned as his hands slip around Shane's neck and play idly at the hair at his nape instead. "It's okay, I know."

He does know, that nothing can happen here and now - not because he doesn't want it, _Jesus_ does he want it, and if whatever is pressing against his thigh is anything to go by, Shane wants it too.

All it takes though, is one look in the taller man's eyes and he knows he has to stop because sure, there's enough lust in that look for Ryan to drown in, but there's also concern, uncertainty, something Shane doesn't let himself show too often. It's new, it's fresh, it's not something Ryan wants to take lightly.

He doesn't blame Shane, not for a second because less than 10 minutes ago he's pretty sure the man was comfortable with the assertion that he was straight - hell, he might still be straight - and now his male best friend is leaving hickeys down the expanse of his throat and that's a lot. A hell of a lot for Shane's vodka-fried brain to handle.

He gets it. He's been through it before. Granted, he was slightly less intoxicated when he found out about his apparent sexual preferences. Honestly, though, he's been interested in Shane for a while, because who wouldn't be right? He masters being cute and kind while also being the biggest asshole on the planet and there's something all too endearing about that.

Shane sighs, resting his forehead against Ryan's, seemingly not bothered by how hunched over he has to get to perform that very action now Ryan isn't pressing up to meet him halfway. His dazed mind lingers a lot less than it usually would on how fucking ridiculous he must look right now. Though he's pretty sure Ryan has seen him looking worse, he reminds himself, they do work at BuzzFeed. 

"I'm sorry," He murmurs, his voice unnaturally soft in a way that stalls Ryan's ability to think for a moment because he shouldn't be sorry.

"Don't be, you're right, people are going to wonder where we've got to soon." As he speaks one of his hands falls to meet one of Shane's, squeezing softly, encouragingly.

Shane though continues to ramble, his face growing pink with embarrassment as his eyebrows furrow in frustration, "it's not that I don't want to, I just-"

"Big guy," Ryan murmurs, cutting Shane off, " _I know_." His voice is certain, firm this time and Shane finds comfort in that, exhaling deeply, allowing his eyes to flutter shut as their heads remain pressed together.

It's different. Usually, Shane is the comforting figure, the voice of reason when on location. It's good, it's nice, Shane thinks, this difference, a change, a shift. It feels good, natural even. So natural he's about to have a panic attack because _yeah_ Shane, sure, _that makes sense._

\--------

They agreed Shane would go with Ryan to his apartment to talk about things after they'd sobered up. They'd get an Uber that Ryan's already paid for, much to Shane's annoyance, and they'd talk things out like adults.

Now Shane was sobering he's debating how rude it'd be if he changed his mind now and just slipped away, jumped out of the back of a moving vehicle he doesn't remember getting in to. He'd probably never show up to work again, he'd create a new identity, maybe move to Canada, or England, London's nice this time of year. Sure it's a little cold, but he's got an abundance of sweaters in his closet and a suitcase he could fit them all in perfectly if he could just get back to his own apartment.

Before he can set his plans of running away into motion he's being herded into Ryan's apartment and onto the couch. Ryan throws him a blanket and a bottle of water, telling him they'll talk in the morning with a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Shane thinks that's fine, he usually wakes up before Ryan, he'll be able to slip out without too much trouble.

Don't get him wrong, he likes Ryan. He has for a while, he's simply always pushed it down, wrote it off as something that just happens when you're in close proximity to someone for too long.

It's no secret that they were always together, it wasn't surprising when the fans started to think there was something more. Recently though, even when he wants to escape Ryan he can't. He lives Ryan. He breathes Ryan. _Ryan_.

He's kind of glad that they are past the stage where when they aren't recording for unsolved they are getting pulled into some other BuzzFeed videos - tonight being the exception - because it's nearly Christmas and he can tell himself it's a little gift to his fans, which he'll probably regret.

The producers always suggest they stay together during taste tests, or reviews, or challenges because it's what the fans want. He has no problem being around Ryan all the time, but he knows exactly why the fans want them together in every video and after a while it can get a little, intimidating?

\-------

"So..." Ryan starts, trying to feign confidence for Shane's sake but in all honesty, he doesn't know what to say.

_So much for slipping away undetected_ , Shane scolds himself mentally as he eyes the mug of coffee Ryan had been waving under his nose to wake him up. He doesn't have to taste it to know it's just the way he likes it, because that's the kind of thing Ryan already knows.

"It'd make a great BuzzFeed video wouldn't it?" Shane jokes, a natural defence mechanism. He's tired, Ryan woke him up early, so he can't hold it against him. I mean seriously, would it hurt to have breakfast first? He wouldn't mind some aspirin too as he battles the urge to complain that he's far too old to drink like that anymore.

"What," Ryan grins, " _'best friends try making out in broom closets'_?" He's going easy on him, Shane thanks whatever Gods' are looking down on him, but mostly he thanks the coffee - which Ryan made, but Ryan also woke him up early on a Saturday for a possibly life-altering discussion, so screw Ryan.

"We'd be the thumbnail for sure, draw in all those fanfiction writers, can you imagine? The fans would have a field day with that." Shane laughs at the thought. Jeez, they can be intimidating without the free fan service.

Ryan tips his head back with a wheeze, "We could- Shane, we could sit in the same room together and they'd have a field day, in fact, they do, have you seen our comment sections recently?"

Shane laughs, but it doesn't quite meet his eyes, which leads to Ryan letting out a quiet huff, "we don't have to talk about it you know?" He offers.

Shane looks up from where he was hunched over with a frown, his head shaking softly, "no we should I- er, I want to I just- I don't know what I'm supposed to say."

"Just, start by telling me how you feel about this- this _whole thing_ , I guess."

"You- you want me to start with that?" Shane laughs, it comes out more like a huff of breath, "that's the kind of thing I was planning on leading up to after a couple of hours of silent panicking, man."

Ryan laughs a little, "okay, maybe that was a little, I don't know- I just, I'm used to just getting my feelings out there, I forgot- I almost forgot you have about as much emotion as a robot."

"Hey! Screw you, I can be- take that back Bergara, I'm very emotional when I want to be! If I was a robot I'd be the Iron Giant, that fucker cried! I'm a crying robot, I have emotion."

"What, and you just usually don't want to be?" Then he wheezes, "the- the Iron Giant? Well, you've already got the second part going for you, you damn giant."

"Something like that- I- for God sake- I'm not- I'm really not _that_ tall." He grins, and he knows they are both deflecting, avoiding the conversation they need to have but it could go badly in so many ways. What if he confesses his undying love for Ryan and Ryan's just, not into it?

"It must've killed your back leaning down in that closet, I feel bad for your spine man, could you get some like spine reduction surgery or something?"

"Well if you weren't so short I wouldn't have to hunch over so badly just to get my mouth on you- you should- please invest in some stilts- or do you think you'll still grow a few inches? Still holding out hope Bergara? Did puberty just hit a little late?"

"Okay, first of all, fuck you, 5'10" is average height, I'm average height! And secondly, if I'm investing in some stilts does that mean we're gonna make out in a broom closet again in the foreseeable future?"

"5'9" and three quarters if I remember correctly- and well, maybe- maybe not in a broom closet and not- not at work but yes Ryan I'd love to make out with you again sometime."

"Really?"

"Yeah, as long as we drop the robot jokes."

"Oh, okay, cool, cool...Wall-E."

"Ryan-"

\--------

It was hardly the most romantic getting together story, and they often cut out the entire _'broom closet'_ incident when talking to their parents. They usually veto it out for something a little softer, like a single peck on the lips or the simple confession, _"I'm kinda homo for you."_ traded for a, _"yeah, you make me a little gay too."_ over a glass of bourbon and a horror movie. That sounds more believable anyway. It's very them.

Basically, they lie, to everyone. What happens in the broom closet stays in the broom closet.

Shane doesn't like the idea of admitting he near enough humped his now boyfriends leg in a supply closet at work. He's pretty sure that wouldn't have gone over as well at Christmas dinner with his family. There's also the fact that his co-workers finding out could get them fired, so it's just a good idea all round to keep it a secret.

Still, they'll always know, and Shane always turns into a blushing mess when Ryan subtly mentions it out in public, so that's always fun. 


End file.
